Looking the Part Without the Clunky Exposition

For the last couple of years, I have gone back to my high school to speak to my favorite former English teacher's, the wonderful Ms. Hays, Creative Writing classes.  Now, I'm not a big-shot published writer yet, so I can't answer a ton of questions about the publishing industry, but I can answer questions about writing itself, and the many different techniques that I use.  

As expected, when speaking it can be a little difficult to come up with examples for how to write certain things offhand.  Especially when you're trying to think of examples for how you can establish and set up a character or a setting without it feeling so like chunks of exposition.

But I made a nice little reference sheet using one of my own books, Conning a Vampire, for the examples.  So, if you're writing and need some help establishing a character's look or the setting, maybe try out one of the ideas that I like to use!

Ways of Showing the Details of the Setting and Characters:

1.      Have the character look into a mirror or reflection of some sort.  This gives the character an opportunity to show how they see themselves. 

Example:

       Looking in the mirror, I tried to decide whether to adventurously part my straight red hair to the side or not.  Deciding I had no reason to change my hair style, I kept it down the middle and took one last look at my green eyes, deciding to forgo eyeshadow as well.

       2.        Describe a character through the eyes of a character.  Say a girl is meeting a boy for the first time.  She’s likely to analyze how he looks in that very first minute.  This helps in scenarios when a character is first being introduced to the main character.

Example:   

A figure dropped out from one of the larger trees, the leaves having made for excellent cover.  Slumped, the figure slowly stood up, his height immediately dwarfing mine.  Half wondering if perhaps Xander preferred living in the trees, I couldn’t help but notice how unkempt his blond hair was.  I realized that he’d been in exile for four hundred years and that he may not be accustomed to indoor plumbing, but he could certainly use a shower. 

Obscuring his features, filth from the outdoors covered his skin, making him look like a wild man of the jungle rather than the freed man he truly was.  But then again, before now, he’d spent centuries as a wild man on an uncharted island.  His unruly appearance made sense. 

The layers of dirt marking his skin were normal.  The long tendrils of greasy blond hair were to be expected.  What I had forgotten about was his eyes.  I had read in the file that none of the Palomidas’ had typical eyes.  No one knew why, but they were not colors that would have been acceptable.  Staring into Xander’s dulled yellow eyes, I felt apprehensive about this entire situation all over again. 

3. Describe setting or characters through dialogue.  This keeps it from feeling too clunky, and also allows your character to be a part of his or her surroundings. 

Example of Character Looks Through Dialogue:   

      “Perhaps you just frustrate easily,” he retorted, the yellow simmering to a peculiar shade.  “Tell me, Alexa, does that fiery mane of yours contribute to your temper?”

      Staring at my so-called fiery mane for a moment, I looked up and stuck my tongue out at him.  “Ha ha, Xander.  Like I haven’t heard every ginger joke in the book.   I can play this game too.  You, Xander Palomidas, look like a captured pirate suffering from scurvy while he awaits his hanging.” 

3.      

Example of Setting and Exposition Through Dialogue:

 “After you fell asleep, I made my way down to the streets.  Your words were ringing in my head.  What you said about history still being here – about the past not entirely being gone – was entirely, completely right.”  Laughing freely to himself, his hands teasingly caressed my hips.  “Do you know what I found last night?  I found what is left of the Cemelenum Amphitheatre.  I had seen it in its prime nearly 2,000 years ago.  Parts of it are still standing.  After everything – the diseases, the wars, the sieges – it still stands.” 

   

 “That’s amazing, Xander,” I smiled, running my hand up and down his back. 

    

 “I spent hours sitting there, seeing the thriving city just meters away.  It was remarkable, Alexa.  I cannot believe I did not see it before, but you were right.  The technology and advancements do not impede the beauty.  They enhance it.” 

So there you go.  If you're struggling with establishing character looks or setting, try some of these suggestions!  I use them a lot - and not just in this one vampire book - and have found that they really do help with keeping things from reading like block after block of exposition.  Let me know if you try any of these techniques and if you think they work!

That's it for now.  Keep writing!

Amy