Grammar Police - Online Shopping

I love online shopping.  I like that I can window shop on the internet and not feel compelled to buy something like I would in the store.  I can just look, have fun, realize shipping costs $5 (and that's $5 too much for me to spend on stupid shipping) and close out the tab.  It's great!

But I also can't help laughing sometimes when online shopping.  Sometimes, the product descriptions have grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors in them that crack me up!  And honestly, some of these mistakes have stopped me from making a purchase.  I might be the only person crazy enough to feel that way, but it does make me think that there should be an editor at each of these companies whose sole job is to check this stuff out.  Some of these places really need someone there making sure all their product descriptions are accurate and not hilarious.

Anyway, here are some of the best, funniest grammar fails I've seen while online shopping!  (Yes, I'm super nerdy, so forgive my fandom crazed shopping.)


Example 1:

From Amazon's product description of this Sailor Moon keychain blind bag:
"This collection of Sailor Moon characters include: Super Sailor Moon, Chili Moon, Sailor Pluto, Neo Queen Serenity, king Endymion, Sailor Uranus, Sailor Neptune, Sailor Saturn, Moon Chalice, Mistress Nine, and Luna Icon." 

If you aren't familiar with these characters, the second one, is not called Chili Moon.  Her name is Chibi Moon.  Like chibi animation.  Not Chili.  Chili is a food.  I'm probably the only one, but I died laughing at Chili Moon.  Also, King Endymion isn't capitalized right?  Why?


Example 2:

From Amazon's product description of this Sailor Moon keychain blind bag:
"This collection of 3D figure collectible key rings inspired by the manga and anime Sailor Moon includes: Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Venus, tuxedo mask, Luna, arteries, Queen beryl, the Moon stick, and masked Sailor Venus." 

I don't know why following basic capitalization is so difficult for these products.  Half a name will be capitalized, or none of it will be.  Makes no sense.  But my biggest issue with this one is that right after Luna, the character known as Artemis is called "arteries."  As in, the arteries that blood flow through in the body, not the Greek god.  Ah yes, my favorite cat character from Sailor Moon, arteries.  It's also not even capitalized!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!  I did fall off the couch reading this one though.  I think it's my favorite.


Example 3:

From Amazon's product description of this Kiki's Delivery Service puzzle:
"Was surrounded by a delicious freshly baked bread, it is a figure of the adorable Gigi.  Background that mimics the brick is also very cute! The piece is beautiful transparent 'Art Crystal jigsaw', the surface is the Frost Art jigsaw which has been subjected to texture 'frosting', such as frosted glass.  You can enjoy a little different texture and until now." 

Okay, first of all: what?  Second of all: WHAT!  Is the cat no longer surrounded by freshly baked bread?  Why is that in past tense?  Why does the sentence start that way?!  But I think the worst part is the very last sentence.  It's like they had more to say about the puzzle, but then realized they didn't, so they just left it as is.  What the hell even is this trying to say?  Also, they spelled Jiji wrong?!?!


Example 4:

From Books-A-Million's product description of this YA book:
"It's been a year since it happened when Paige Hancock's first boyfriend died in an accident.  After shutting out the world for two years, Paige is finally ready for a second chance at high school...and she had a plan. First: Get her old crush, Ryan Chase, to date her the perfect way to convince everyone she's back to normal. Next: Join a club simple, it's high school after all.  But when Ryan's sweet, nerdy cousin, Max, moves to town and recruits Paige for the Quiz Bowl team (of all things ) her perfect plan is thrown for a serious loop.  Will Page be able to face her fears and finally open herself up to the life she was meant to live?"

I'll admit, when I read this synopsis, I did not want to read this book.  The weird run-on sentences made me nervous that the actual book was like that!  But, then I got curious.  I had read this description on Books-A-Million's website, not Amazon.  So, I searched it on Amazon, and found that there is punctuation missing from BAM's description.  I don't know if it just didn't copy and paste right, or if someone just didn't see it, but if you don't look at this book on a different website, you'll be like me and assume BAM is selling poorly-edited books!  Get it together, BAM!  Have someone look at your book synopses, please.

So, there you have it.  Online shopping: fun, but it can also be hilarious.  I'll keep my eyes peeled for more online shopping funnies that I might see!  Until then, write on!

Amy